February 2009
January 2009
It's now or never.
(via asmallhope)
20 minutes until my pizza and I are together.
havent-got-a-prayer:
Who needs love when you got that?
OMG pizza want some right now
caragh:
After I pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, I dug the phone out of my pocket and saw that my jacket had made a phone call to my co-worker. A phone call that lasted 1 minute, 34 seconds, roughly 13 minutes prior. I quickly looked at the recent plays on my iPod and determined that yep, I was definitely singing loudly at the time this call was made.
At first, embarrassment....
“What has love become? It’s not like we used to hear in those old songs…”
– Copeland - Love Is A Fast Song (via betweenblue)
“This is why our problem is not just economic; it’s spiritual. We have mistaken...”
– The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan (via lilyb) (via hiiamblair) (via alohanico)
“Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean your gonna fail at everything. Keep...”
– Marilyn Monroe (via littlemiss) (via bacarospa) (via clairefisher) (via killingbambi)
(questa si che mi piace)
(via uppereastside)
I Love You All
dearoldlove:
I say “I love you” to people all of the time now, to make that time I said it to you mean less.
somuchsass:
justinesamantha:
sometimes I adjust my boobs in public.
Who doesn’t? They have a mind of their own sometimes.
Note to self: Stop measuring yourself against...
(via havent-got-a-prayer)
BREAKING NEWS: HOLY SHIT! SNOW ACCUMULATES IN...
thewayoftheworld:
maconsiglio:
(Jan 29th, 2009 Detroit, Michigan)
Yesterday, snow fell on the ground in Michigan in the middle of winter. There was snow in Oak Park, Southfield, Detroit’s east side, Westland, Taylor, and Clarkston. People bitched as they shoveled, salt trucks hit the road, and assholes crashed their cars for fun. Meanwhile, more important newsworthy things happened. For more...
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’,...”
– Mitch Hedberg (via affremblequotes) (via pearlsbeforeswine)
“I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb....”
– Dolly Parton (via simko)
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in...”
– W. C. Fields (via bitchville) (via somuchsass)
have fun, word nerds. →
onemoretimewithfeeling:
themattsmith:
(via dataxemotion)
Thank you, Wordsmith Anagram Finder, for telling me that the only anagram of my name that makes any sense is “Wham Them Tits”.
My favorite: Challenge Commie Hug
The most awesome of mine: Anal Burn Engineer
And You Shall Know Us by the Trail of Hits
dearoldlove:
I wish there was more of you to stalk on the internet.
fucking fear mongerers (on why I don't watch the...
jaimeleighfairbrother:
Recently I was smoking a joint with a friend and the television, on mute, was showing the local news. On the screen were a bunch of puppies, adorable little fuckers, frolicking as they do. I knew, though, that if we turned up the volume I’d hear some talking head using their so serious so sombre voice to tell us why these puppies are a danger to us, or are in danger, or...
Arrested Development
Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that....”
– Drew Carey (via bitchville) (via looselipssinkships) (via noahkai)
A classic.
(via whatthehale)
i just sent this card out two weeks ago. (i can’t am too lazy to find the link.)
(via ineedtoo)
What kind of day are YOU having?
meltinyourmouth:
1happyst:
I get on the elevator to go to lunch. When I reach the lobby, I stick my right hand into my pocket and notice that my wallet isn’t there.
Crap! I must have left it upstairs on my desk.
I hop back on the elevator and head back up. I reach my desk.
Son of a bitch, it’s not there. What did I do with it?
Oh there it is. In my left hand.
Awesome!!!
“This…’stuff’? Oh…okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go...”
– Miranda Priestly. (via thisbloghearsmyconfessions)
B is for Backstabbing
A charming detail came out when I was talking to Traveler the other night: The Roommate was talking all kinds of shit about me behind my back. Apparently when we first met, Traveler told The Roommate how cute/nice/fun he thought I was in a way to clearly insinuate that he wanted her to set him up with me. Allegedly she went on from here to tell him I was crazy over and over again: that I’m...
“I honestly couldn’t care less if you like the same bands or you’ve read the same...”
– I Wrote This For You (via sleepanddream) (via unicornology) (via skysignal)
First Person Singular or Bust
dearoldlove:
“We all miss you” is a cruel thing to say to me.
“Perversion is the sex that you like and I don’t.”
– Daniel Bergner, quote from an anonymous analyst. (via absurdlakefront) (via jaimeleighfairbrother)
P is for Problem
So late last night, after he’d been at a party all night, a clearly incredibly intoxicated Traveler called me. At my icy reception (I was displeased that the day after he’d given me a lecture on how important school is and how I needed to just deal with the fact that he’d have little time to give me, he went to a party for 6 hours), he told me he was in a bad headspace that he...